It is absolutely for plenty of good reasons that the Constitution of Nigeria, clearly warned; “No citizen(Children inclusive please)of Nigeria shall be subjected to any disability or deprivation (of course including public shame, ridicule, abuse, opprobrium, and disgrace)
merely by reason of the circumstances of his birth.” Closely related to the Constitution, the Matrimonial Laws, further resolved the ever-burning and controversial issues of paternity when it conclusively stated that pendency of valid marriage is conclusive proof of paternity.
Let’s put it succinctly; under Nigeria laws today, there’s an irrebuttable presumption that any child born while marriage subsists, or even 10 months thereafter, belongs to the husband. I strongly believe that the main reason and intent of these laws are simply to protect the welfare of the innocent children, preserve their human dignity; and to prevent any form of social abuse, discrimination, shame, and unnecessary disgraceful actions towards children who know next to nothing about whatever happened before they were formed. For nobody actually negotiated and determined how or from what circumstances they should be born. Conversely, nobody has the right to drag innocent children into whatever dispute or egotistic sexual misbehaviour of two adults – who obviously won’t tell us everything that transpired. For the overall welfare of children should be of utmost paramount in ventilation whatsoever grievances parents may have against themselves.
When I say welfare, average Nigeria people would quickly interject; but he’s still taking care and providing for them an. To them, provisions stop at foods and school fees. What myopic reasoning! How do you claim to take care of people, yet you could not protect them from social stigmatization and shame? What if they commit suicide due to your reckless indiscretions?
Some say; what if the wife accused him of being impotent or sterile? And so? Is sterile condition a criminal offence? Must you try to prove your masculinity and fertility by destroying every single tie between you and children who know and call ONLY you their father?
And some others say what of tomorrow na, they now come and be denying the man. And I say; fuck you and your tomorrow! Many others say; you know he has other biological children now, what about inheritance? So, what makes you think the kids would necessarily be depending on inheritance? What if they become the next Dangote themselves. Nonsensical reasoning, devoid of any iota of the interests of the children!
You see, there are a plethora of unspeakable, and untellable things that transpire in most marriages, in Nigeria, which should remain as secrets of both spouse till death, even if they are divorced or separated – all for the sake of their children. All these tell-it-all social media gyrations could be terribly insensitive to the social security, emotional and psychological well-being of innocent children.
Let me buttress this with three real-life stories, I knew while growing up.
Story One. A Young couple living around my neighbourhood in the 90s..
(To be continued shortly…)
Azubuike Ihemeje writes from Port Harcourt
